A month?

So it's been almost, if not more than a month since I have last blogged
SORRY MY ONLY READER XD

anyways, something I've been hearing in the past couple of weeks is this:
You're so strong
But I'm not. If I hear it one more time, I will crumple inside
This only a surface I put on....I think?
i have to be strong, i can't let others know that i am truly week inside
it might kill me to feel vulnerable, even though im probably the most gullible person on the planet

what does it mean to be strong anyways?
to be able to handle any problem/hardship that is thrown your way?
to be able to slide off what others say about you?
to truly be yourself and no one else?

what does it mean to be strong?

I'm not dead

For those that actually read this blog (no one) I am currently NOT  dead...just been missing :P
school's busy, basketball like almost everyday
yet this is my first Thursday without basketball and having to do homework...and I feel actually kind of bored to be honest
I could practice my dribbling, but I have a semi bum wrist that is telling me it hurts like hell at the moment.
Only 7:21.
Maybe I should go take some advil....nah I don't like painkillers
So this is pretty much just a really long rant. Somewhere to vent my thoughts.

Something to ponder
What does it mean to like someone?
Can someone tell me? caz I honestly don't know the answer
Butterflies? Nervous? Stomach in knots? I honestly don't understand.

Can a relationship be something else than what the media portrays?
Someone to joke are with, be sarcastic.

Funny how I seem so depressed on here, when I'm truly not in person.
I'd rather stay a child than be a brooding teenager.
Rather be clueless than know everything in the world.

To be honest, I couldn't dream of being someone else other than who I am today. iIf I had to be someone other than we I am, I probably would perish in this world.

I live on being carefree. I simply cannot survive any other way.

Seems like a long rant :P
But I'm satisfied.

Moving Forward

I cannot retrace my steps, but only move forward.
Something I thought about today. Although I haven't had much time to think lately, I realize that I cannot go back to the life I had before and that I need to dive headfirst into the future.
The past is the past, nothing can be done about it.
Can you imagine being able to change our past? We wouldn't be able to learn anything.
I feel as if the creative flow is slowly leaking out from me. I look back at the stuff I write and I wish to be able to write like that again.

What fuels creativity? Is it the simple matter of thinking? Having time to yourself and just wondering what would happen if...?
Is it what we see? Trying to express ourselves?

I am lost in this world of everything, yet I have nothing. Nothing to say. Nothing to feel.

I am coasting. Forever just staying in one place.

How then do I move forward? I do not know.

It's not like I have time

That has been the most used line in my past two weeks of life. It's not like I have time. Between sports and school and my social life, I have no time to myself. Actually scratch the last one, I don't have a social life.
Some way to start a blog eh?
I'm Jess.
I don't usually complain about life.
I write...a lot.
Poems, stories...etc. You name it, I'll whip something up.
I guess that puts out requests.
Probably not a lot of people will read this, but it's somewhere to vent, is it not?

For English class, I was asked what role humanity and identity play in my life. I didn't answer the question, yet I still got exceed expectations.

I don't believe essays is an art. It strips away all creativity of an author, of a writer. There's no point in stating exactly what you're trying to say. Creativity comes with many different aspects, and obvious sometimes isn't one.

I will never be satisfied merely by what I have at the moment. I will always strive for more. Without this drive, I simply am nothing.